Monster Whisperer Pillows

"Ohhh...I guess you feel slightly uncomfortable....Do you want to talk about it?"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"I'm sure those scary monsters under your bed heard some scary things too."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

The Worm Charmer

Wolf Karaoke

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

'I could eat you.'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I'll check and see if he's available."

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

"Yeah, birds are bad, but fishermen are the worst: they first stab you with a hook, then drown you to finish you off. . ."

'Where are you going?'

"At first I was a bit worried about the comeback of wolves in Europe. But I must admit that they had adapted well to living together with humans!"

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

Product Testing Department

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

'Please repeat, your last transmission was garbled.'

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"My husband is fishing. . ."