Universe Whisperer Pillows

Dr. McWit ponders the Big Bag theory for Creation of the Universe.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Creative accounting.

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

Is this Seat Taken?

"Shoot it? Shoot it? I don't even know which end of the darn thing to aim at it!"

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

Surfer and the Whale

"Our researchers have discovered that 'E' is the most common, and only, letter in the dolphin alphabet."

'Something tells me we're close!'

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

'Don't tell me you're am mammal too?'

"My turn."

"It says, for a small user fee, you can now arrange to hear oceans sounds on your watch."

"I'm a medium." "Really? I'm a large!" "Your late Aunt Nancy warmed me you'd say that."

"You can stop straining. I read the message wrong. It's 'crop' circle...my bad sorry."

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

'Say '1' to hear the ocean in English. Decir '2' a oir el ocean en Espanol.'

"Boy, that was quite a day! As the only survivors, I think our number one priority has to be to find another shoal..."