Art Whisperer Pillows

Creative accounting.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Just be yourself."

I quilt therefore I am

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"Uh-Oh..."

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

'Are you done yet?'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

Sales tied in knots

Creator's Block

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

"I love my luvvie."

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."

"Our sales have slumped so much, we now have a couch for them."

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'