Muscle Seeker Gifts

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

Muscles

"I, TikTok."

The rock caricature

Bench Press Accident

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Exercise Bars

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"...And have we been working on our upper body or our lower body?"

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

'I think it's time to concentrate a little more on your upper body!'

'Rita, I've seen several people smiling today. Find out what that's all about.'

Dave's diaper-changing incentive chart.

Fishing

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

'Of course he does - all snakes have great abs!'

Macho man body building club.

Built and Built without a permit.

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"