Massage Seeker Gifts

Dave's diaper-changing incentive chart.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Spa

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Working Holiday

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Cat in a flap

"It feels good to unwind..."

Dog Park / Cat Park

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"I love this time of day."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

"Uptight End"

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"We're here to experience pleasure."

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Loofah Lady

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Have you had a brazilian?'

Holiday Aerobics.

"Yoga helps me unwind."

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax