Massage Seeker Gifts

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Spa

Working Holiday

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Cat in a flap

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"I love this time of day."

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Dog Park / Cat Park

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"It feels good to unwind..."

"We're here to experience pleasure."

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

"Uptight End"

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

Loofah Lady

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax

"I finally found a stress ball adequate for my role."

Housewife: Out of Order.

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

Email Notifications