Muscle Recovery Gifts

'This won't hurt.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Spa

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Cardiac Recovery.

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Vlad the Inhaler

"Let's consider an early dive."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'Very funny!'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

Vaccine Spring