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'This won't hurt.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Spa

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Let's consider an early dive."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Vlad the Inhaler

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Cardiac Recovery.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

'Very funny!'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Vaccine Spring

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

Time Out For Teddy