Mundane Moment Celebrator Pillows

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Showbiz Awards

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

Malfunctioning geyser

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'She said her first words today.'

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Speed Dating Disasters

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"Are you blushing?!"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

Welcome to our meeting!

"I think that one is a little too honest."

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

Hey dad, is that the boss guy that you said can talk out of his butt?

"Can the bride refrain from twitching her entire left side?"

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."

"Well, right now I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."

Jack's first meeting with Melanie's parents, suddenly turned awkward.

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"Cruz, I didn't send flowers to Rayna! We haven't dated in forever! Ever since I joked about calling her Anne Droid."