Mummy's Boy Humorist Gifts

'What do you mean, 'it isn't as good as your Mother's'?'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

Scientist seen on loch.

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

'Now that I'm King, no more of that 'Eddie' stuff, Mom.'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"

"Now pay attention when mother is speaking, Hubert!"

'We need a man with daring and drive. Do you think your son is this man?'

"Come on Mum, I'm fully grown-up, surely you can let my friend come between you and me safely..."

I had a very happy childhood, until last week when my mommy kicked me out.

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

"Which one is yours?"

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

"Your mummy left a message to remind you to take your nap after lunch."

I have this overwhelming urge to have kids

'He came back home. Ran out of money.'

'No, he does not find his mother too domineering.'

"Sorry, I'm late but my mother couldn't make up her mind what I should wear here."

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

'This is a pretty stiff penalty for motherhood.'

'Oh, he's not mine. He's just renting.'

'The next time Mam says we're going to a fair, I'll ask her to be more specific.'

'I'm so happy! I always wanted to meet someone just like you mum.'

'Do you feel dominated by your mother?'

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