Mummy Fan Pillows

"Do you accept cryptocurrency?"

Ancient Egyptian Doctors

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"Wine, known as 'yrp,' was often used as an offering to the dead. Which may explain the lampshade on his head."

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

"You have a loose thread."

"Gin Mummy!"

Old lady using a mummy as a knitting aid.

Mummies - "This 'journey to the afterlife...' - think it'll take long?"

"It helps me unwind of an evening."

Your father ran out of toilet paper, again, didn't he?"

The Ancient Mummy and the Psychiatrist

"Tomb it may concern..."

"I've got a secret to tell you...but you've got to keep it under wraps."

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

Tourists in Egypt

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Halloween Selfie

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

Sphinx with nursing Sphinx pups

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.