Mummy Fanatic Pillows

"That's perfect! The bloody door is too small!"

Mummy Toilet Roll.

Mummy Tourists

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"How many times have I told you to replace the roll when you get to the end?"

"He'll have to call you back. He's just now jumping in the shower."

Pyramids

Mummy Train Driver

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Night of the Zombonies.

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Tourists in Egypt

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"I know. But I think I can change him."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

Halloween Selfie

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'