Mummy Aficionado Pillows

'Keep the wrapping.You can't return it without the original packaging.'

'We met at an archaeological dig, in Egypt.'

Werewolf meets the Mummy.

Gone to Lunch.

Egyptian Extra Long-Life Gauze Bandage

2 mummies...

The Real Mummy's Curse

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Tourists in Egypt

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Halloween Selfie

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"You know I hate birthdays!"

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

Museum.

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

'Another Scotch?'

"Unwrapping a mummy."

"You never know what will catch on!"

Mummy Musician