Multimedia Entertainment Pillows

Turn this music off! Please. Thumpa thump … Thank goodness. This is insane. How can they combine a talk show with house music? Allow us to explain: To attract younger audiences, we, the media conglomerates, must communicate on their terms, on their wavelength. More media, multimedia, simultaneous media, streaming screaming gleaming screeching grinding mind-bending media! I'm going to kill something! You're playing into their hands. Thumpa thumpa thumpa.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Champagne

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Television Readers.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Extreme miming"

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

The Rooster Comedian.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Cow Show Tunes

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

American Idle.

'There's nothing on.'