Multimedia Entertainment Gifts

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

A Guide to Balloon Animals

The Rooster Comedian.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Television Readers.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Extreme miming"

Champagne

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Cow Show Tunes

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'There's nothing on.'

Cord cutter