Moving To A New Farm Gifts

"Dear, I'd like you to meet the Holsteins."

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Allotment

Country Bumpkin.

'It's 'baa baa' here and 'baa baa' there, until I'm just about nuts.'

'How very Cumbria.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

Thatched roof car.

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

'Where's my glove?'

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

Holiday cottage

"We should get out to the country more often."

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

Tree Squirrel

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

A Gated Community.

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

"It's only until Dad gets his stall built."

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

Information...

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

"Carol, our guests are here, along with the complete L.L. Bean catalogue."

The Scenic Route