Moviegoer Chuckler Gifts

Giraffe watching open air cinema without paying.

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'It was great. I hated it.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

'I always thought that church mouse thing was just a figure of speech.'

Now playing. Zombie Truck-Driving Maniacs II. If I'm too scared, can we cuddle. It's why I make him see these horrible movies.

Theater Usher Moms.

'With all the cars driven by little old ladies only to church on Sunday, you'd think the church would be completely full of little old ladies.'

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

Three women singing behind a man-eating plant.

'Popcorn-Soda-Hankies'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

Cineplex. Now Showing. It's a romantic comedy with zombies. Ah, a zoo-rom-com!

Why as a general rule Pastors are not allowed to help on building work days.

'We haven't located your curate,sir - have you tried the missing parsons' bureau?'

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

Miracle. Publicity stunt.

"No love, your Daddy isn't Spider-Man. Your Daddy is a Father For Justice."

"The collection plate was misplaced, so Pastor Olsen said to use his fishing net until I find it."

Is it time for church already? I tolled you so!

Cult films!

'I don't know which is worse - the popcorn people spill on the floor, or the chicken poop.'

Tim Burton Caricature

Pope giving out his Music CD as communion wafer.

'Sorry, sir, you can't take that bucket of raw meat in - have to buy all food from our snack bar.'