Movie Theatre Maven Gifts

Blades of grass watching horror movie of lawnmower cutting grass.

Instructional guide to scribbling

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Upper West Side Story

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"This is off our first TikTok."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

The sunglasses.

Carbon Dating

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

BIC TAYLOR MAKES A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE CHILLING CLIMAX TO 'PLANET OF THE PENCILS.'

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

"Jeepers creepers! It's Madonna, but it's you, too, Margaret."

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

"Now all we need is a good script."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

The hall of bad ideas.

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."