Movie Theater Maven Gifts

"As your attorney, I advise you not to talk during the movie."

Instructional guide to scribbling

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

The sunglasses.

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Upper West Side Story

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"This is off our first TikTok."

Carbon Dating

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

"Now all we need is a good script."

BIC TAYLOR MAKES A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE CHILLING CLIMAX TO 'PLANET OF THE PENCILS.'

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

"Jeepers creepers! It's Madonna, but it's you, too, Margaret."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

The hall of bad ideas.

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"