Horror Movie Maven Gifts

"We're living through 2020 and you're wasting money renting horror movies?"

Muscles

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Ninja bread men"

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Save the unicorn.

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"This is off our first TikTok."

Upper West Side Story

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"Now all we need is a good script."

BIC TAYLOR MAKES A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE CHILLING CLIMAX TO 'PLANET OF THE PENCILS.'

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"Jeepers creepers! It's Madonna, but it's you, too, Margaret."

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

Boarway Show

Nick Cave

Body Building Mishap

'Music hath charms,' &c.

Leonard Cohen