Horror Movie Maven Gifts

"We're living through 2020 and you're wasting money renting horror movies?"

Muscles

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Ninja bread men"

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Save the unicorn.

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Upper West Side Story

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

"Jeepers creepers! It's Madonna, but it's you, too, Margaret."

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Now all we need is a good script."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

BIC TAYLOR MAKES A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE CHILLING CLIMAX TO 'PLANET OF THE PENCILS.'

Boarway Show

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

'Music hath charms,' &c.

Body Building Mishap

'Sometimes I think we shoot too much film and too few actors - give me your gun!'