Horror Maven Gifts

'I've got the bill if it's too small.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Muscles

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Ninja bread men"

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

'Have you no common scents?!'

Myths and legends...

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Save the unicorn.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"Now all we need is a good script."

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

BIC TAYLOR MAKES A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE CHILLING CLIMAX TO 'PLANET OF THE PENCILS.'

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Body Building Mishap

'Sometimes I think we shoot too much film and too few actors - give me your gun!'

Facial hair continental drift.

Life is ghoul

"Hey, this is brilliant! Where do you get my ideas?"

'I'll accept that excuse for now, but you need to have a brain by Monday.'

Poirots of the Caribbean

"My biggest strength is probably my quads."

"I love strong coffee."

"We've done volcano and twister. We need another movie about a natural disaster and my first marriage came to mind."

'Poor Adam -- he lost his head start ALREADY.'