Mourning Loss Gifts

'Was it you or your brother that died?'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'He was a great writer'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

Life after death

"I know. I miss him, too."

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Ventriloquist Grave

"Your husband says BOO!"

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Postcards from Heaven...

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Grief counselling'

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

"What? Too soon?"

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

"Sorry, wrong room."

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'