Mourning Loss Gifts

'Was it you or your brother that died?'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'He was a great writer'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

"I know. I miss him, too."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

Life after death

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Postcards from Heaven...

Ventriloquist Grave

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Your husband says BOO!"

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

'Grief counselling'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

"Sorry, wrong room."