Missing A Loved One Gifts

Kathleen felt she was stuck between Iraq and a heart place.

Even though we have to keep our distance...

"It's no use, Ed, I just can't sleep. I miss my wife's . . . snoring!"

'He was a great writer'

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Ol' Pete was an angler to the end.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

Postcards from Heaven...

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Grief counselling'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

"What? Too soon?"

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"Sorry, wrong room."

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

'He must not have been an easy man to care for. He always had an iron will. Which brings us to what he left you.'

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

Bootmaker upset over the death of a long term customer

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"