Loss Of A Family Member Gifts

"We kept waiting for him to mellow with age, but he never got around to it."

"Chip off the old block."

"Your Grandfather's gone to a better place."

"He was a very good boy."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'He was a great writer'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

Halo Frisbee.

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

Blues artis's daily list

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

'Se Non E Vero' Etc.

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Postcards from Heaven...

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

'Grief counselling'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

"Sorry, wrong room."

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."