Death Of A Loved One Gifts

'And this, of course, is our rental.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'He was a great writer'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

'Ol' Pete was an angler to the end.'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'for more obit info, go to...'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

Postcards from Heaven...

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

'Grief counselling'

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

"What? Too soon?"

"Sorry, wrong room."

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

"Although the estate will be distributed equally, your father wanted you all to know that Keith was his favorite, followed by..."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

Even though we have to keep our distance...

Kathleen felt she was stuck between Iraq and a heart place.

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'