Mountain Goat Gifts

"Anytime you need a sherpa, you can't find one."

Man using a sherpa - "Admit it father those stairs are getting too much for you."

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

"Quick! I see his avalanche beacon."

"You want some words of wisdom? Next time, take the elevator!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'First of all, relax.'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Vincent Van Goat.

'You have to admit Darling that there's an awesome view from our eyrie...'

'I'm collecting goat poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"I like to stay on top of things."

Ski kicker.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.

"In the old days, we used to rescue real travellers. Now, we tend to rescue so-called adventurers and thrill-seekers..."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

'On behalf of the park I'm going to have to charge you an artist's modeling fee.'

'Excellent napkin.'

'This was to have been Hillary's greatest moment...'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

"OK, today, Bob, your team is on blackberry clearing at the Brown's farm, while Lisa, your team is on thistle clearing at the Barker's farm..."

'There must be mining occurring in this mountain.'

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

Salesman on Holiday

'Try not to jerk when you come to the end of the rope.'

'Sorry I'm late. I had you booked as the gastroenteritis, on Mont Blanc.'

'Oh, I won't fight you, you're welcome to have them: I can't stand the nagging anymore!'

"Business is booming, so yes, you're hired!"

It's true what they say: Life at the top can be lonely...

I lactate, therefore I am.

'This is no time to decide that you'd rather be doing something else!'