Mountain Climbing Aficionado Gifts

'Dude, if you're gonna climb with us, you gotta lose the scythe.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Bring your own inflatable.

Duck Hunt

"Tallyho!"

'Echo Tourism'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

'Thirty years from now, this will seem terribly quaint and awash in charming period detail.'

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

'GESUNDHEIT!!'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Recalculating

Hadley finds proof that bears actually don't s**t in the woods.

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

Rubbish and Everest

Mountain climbers find a family picnicing on top of the mountain

"You'll be fine. Just don't look down."

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

'What do you mean you 'forgot' the camera?!'

"When we get back to the cabin, I’ll open the Champagne, build a nice fire, and we can examine each other for ticks."