Motorcycle Magician Gifts

'You did it! You changed my lovely witches broom into a hybrid!!'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'How fast can you hype?'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

Pizza time.

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

Stupid Microwave

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

Lazy plumber.

"I don't want to take this meeting off track, but... isn't Stonehenge amazing? Seriously, who did that?"

Man in meeting has drawn all over paper, table and chairman, who says: 'I have no objection to doodling during meetings, but it must be within reason.'

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'Well, he sure as hell doesn't walk like a C.E.O.'

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'Let me present today's speaker.'