Mirror Magician Gifts

Invention No 123. The Anti-prune Mirror

The quarantine self cut.

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'If anyone needs me, I'll be in front of the bathroom mirror, taking selfies.'

'Gee, I don't know. Can I see this in another mirror?'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Stupid Microwave

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Mummy Musician

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

The writer's world

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'What's the poule ding?' 'Roast chicken. The ding is the sound of the microwave.'

What are you going to do with your face masks when we no longer need them?

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

Tortoise and the Hare

"Call security - and my cardiologist."

"You're the only one in this department who has survived the staff cuts. I can only advise you to do your job well, otherwise I'll have to fire you too, got that?"

man in suit carries pile of books with sticky notes

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

Dog barks at himself in a mirror.

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

"A minute on the lips"

"You're so vein."

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'