Mirror Magician Gifts

Invention No 123. The Anti-prune Mirror

The quarantine self cut.

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'If anyone needs me, I'll be in front of the bathroom mirror, taking selfies.'

'Gee, I don't know. Can I see this in another mirror?'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Stupid Microwave

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

The writer's world

Mummy Musician

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'Music hath charms,' &c.

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

"Call security - and my cardiologist."

What are you going to do with your face masks when we no longer need them?

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

"You're the only one in this department who has survived the staff cuts. I can only advise you to do your job well, otherwise I'll have to fire you too, got that?"

'What's the poule ding?' 'Roast chicken. The ding is the sound of the microwave.'

Tortoise and the Hare

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

man in suit carries pile of books with sticky notes

Dog barks at himself in a mirror.

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"A minute on the lips"

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"You're so vein."

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.