Maintenance Magician Gifts

Lazy plumber.

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Team Leader

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

The Forever Stamp

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

"Music helps with maths... like which song got to number one... which song got to number two..."