Motivational Skeptic Gifts

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

"If at first you don't succeed is not company policy, Anderson."

Thinking of throwing the 'Think' sign into the garbage.

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

That should get you motivated.

Highway ends with sign "Whatever"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'We hoped you'd respond more enthusiastically to our incentive program.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'This is about the poster isn't it?'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

House of Wishful Thinking