Motivational Skeptic Gifts

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

"If at first you don't succeed is not company policy, Anderson."

Thinking of throwing the 'Think' sign into the garbage.

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

That should get you motivated.

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'We hoped you'd respond more enthusiastically to our incentive program.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'This is about the poster isn't it?'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

"For the last time, don't run 'persistence is the key to success by me again."

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

House of Wishful Thinking

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

Actual Results May Vary