Motivational Quotes Skeptic Gifts

Buckle Down! It's the Law!

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

That should get you motivated.

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

'My philosophy has always been, sell advice, don't follow it.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"You can do it!"

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

'This is about the poster isn't it?'

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

'Seize another day... This one is mine.'

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.