Motivational Ponderer Gifts

"What is it you'd like to know about incentives, my son?"

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Needs to get a life"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Max Weber

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"I love it, the chief loves it, the client loves it, but the gods don't love it."

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"Gotta cut back on my binge thinking."

"You what? Well, you darn well ought to have a guilt complex"

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Caption Contest TK

Move Up In The World or Down Hill All The Way.

"Welcome home, Dear. Did you catch the carrot today?"

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"