Motif Critic Gifts

"You ever wonder why they always draw only one tree?"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

Down With Wikipedia

Pop up begger.

"AI designed my statue."

This picture of me in the annual report...do you think it really captures the true inner corporate man?

'To much orange.'

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

"First the open floor plan, now this."

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

'Is it me or do these new led street lights wash out the reds and yellows?'

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

Pfft! I could do that.

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

"It's off-white, but a little too off. It may get very tiring. What do you think?"

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

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