Motherhood Humor Fan Pillows

"Got any cravings?"

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I need to know who started it."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

Maternity Ward

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

Chilly baby.

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'

Baby on Board

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Sure, Mom, I'll eat first, but then can we discuss my 'overseas adoption'?"

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

'Go on Darling, play in the soil-pit for a while...'

"Michael, do your dinner."

'Yeachh! This isn't easy when they're not potty trained.'

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

"This dog has wheels!"

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

'My mom invented baths!'

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

"You wanted me to mow all the grass?"

"My mom said she wishes when I grow up I have a kid just like me. It just occurred to me that she didn't mean that as a compliment."