Motherhood Appreciators Gifts

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Open other end

Baby on Board

'It's a girl and she's an artist in her gestational period.'

She's good, but Mom's better.

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

"You're applying for this job because your mother told you to. Well, I guess that's a good thing in a compliance officer."

'I already had one bath today! You want my skin to wear out?'

'She's the primary caregiver!'

Single parents.

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

"I warned you, Kid! I brought back up!!"

"Think of the campfire like your Grandmother - it deserves respect and constant attention."

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

'I don't resent taking orders from a woman... for 20 years I took them from my mother.'

"Me and my husband had to try sixteen times before I became pregnant... What a night that was!"

"Hey Mom, love your new sweater! #mom #lovemymom #coolmom. . ."

Womb Rating

"At least when it comes to Mother of the Year - you're a shoe-in."

"It's done wonders for my back."

Momco

Mother Love

"Nothing much. Just going to get rid of some belly fat."