Motherhood Celebrator Gifts

Son, I don't think this was how Whistler painted HIS mother.

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

'Go forth and multiply!'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

'Mother will catch you!'

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

She's good, but Mom's better.

Single parents.

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

'She's the primary caregiver!'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

Breast Feeding in Public

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

National Mom Monument.

"I want to buy you a card that reflects the sacrifices you've made on my behalf, Mom. Where's your purse?"

'I don't resent taking orders from a woman... for 20 years I took them from my mother.'

'Just say it's stick-to-your-ribs food. Don't mention what else it's stuck to.'

Life's Rarest Things

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

"Me and my husband had to try sixteen times before I became pregnant... What a night that was!"

'Our names aren't here so let's go for a drink!'

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

Womb Rating

"It's done wonders for my back."

Good mom/ Good mom

"Whoa! If this baby shower isn't for ME -- then WHO'S it for?"

"No woman should have children over 40, that's quite enough for anybody."