Motherhood Celebrator Gifts

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

'Go forth and multiply!'

'Mother will catch you!'

She's good, but Mom's better.

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

Single parents.

'She's the primary caregiver!'

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

'I don't resent taking orders from a woman... for 20 years I took them from my mother.'

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

"Me and my husband had to try sixteen times before I became pregnant... What a night that was!"

'Just say it's stick-to-your-ribs food. Don't mention what else it's stuck to.'

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

'Our names aren't here so let's go for a drink!'

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

"At least when it comes to Mother of the Year - you're a shoe-in."

"It's done wonders for my back."

Good mom/ Good mom

"Whoa! If this baby shower isn't for ME -- then WHO'S it for?"

"No woman should have children over 40, that's quite enough for anybody."