Motherhood Appreciators Pillows

"Pick out any card you like, Mom. This one's on me."

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Baby on Board

Son, I don't think this was how Whistler painted HIS mother.

'It's a girl and she's an artist in her gestational period.'

She's good, but Mom's better.

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

Single parents.

'She's the primary caregiver!'

'I already had one bath today! You want my skin to wear out?'

"You're applying for this job because your mother told you to. Well, I guess that's a good thing in a compliance officer."

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

"Think of the campfire like your Grandmother - it deserves respect and constant attention."

"I warned you, Kid! I brought back up!!"

Breast Feeding in Public

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

"I want to buy you a card that reflects the sacrifices you've made on my behalf, Mom. Where's your purse?"

'I don't resent taking orders from a woman... for 20 years I took them from my mother.'

National Mom Monument.

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

Life's Rarest Things

"Me and my husband had to try sixteen times before I became pregnant... What a night that was!"

"Hey Mom, love your new sweater! #mom #lovemymom #coolmom. . ."

"At least when it comes to Mother of the Year - you're a shoe-in."

Womb Rating

"It's done wonders for my back."

Mother Love

Momco