Mommy Moment Appreciator Pillows

'Don't bite!'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Baby on board 2020

Open other end

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

"Your mom's a very special person."

Child on a schedule.

'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you agree with me?'

She's good, but Mom's better.

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

Single parents.

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

'She's the primary caregiver!'

Funny how moms know when you're going to do something naughty at the exact time you're doing it.

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

How to injury yourself as an adult

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

Working Moms

"Well at least now I ca almost imagine the level of pain my husband goes through when he's got a cold."

Mother and Baby

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

"I warned you, Kid! I brought back up!!"

"My child has special wants."

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

'I don't resent taking orders from a woman... for 20 years I took them from my mother.'

"I don't understand people who say children should be seen and not heard. Why would anyone want to hear them?"

"Me and my husband had to try sixteen times before I became pregnant... What a night that was!"

"Haven't been there, haven't done that."

"Hey Mom, love your new sweater! #mom #lovemymom #coolmom. . ."

"I did take off my muddy shoes, mom...these are my socks!"