Mommy Moment Appreciator Pillows

'Don't bite!'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Baby on board 2020

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

"Your mom's a very special person."

Child on a schedule.

'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you agree with me?'

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

She's good, but Mom's better.

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

Funny how moms know when you're going to do something naughty at the exact time you're doing it.

'She's the primary caregiver!'

Single parents.

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

How to injury yourself as an adult

Working Moms

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

"I warned you, Kid! I brought back up!!"

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

Mother and Baby

"Well at least now I ca almost imagine the level of pain my husband goes through when he's got a cold."

"My child has special wants."

"I want to buy you a card that reflects the sacrifices you've made on my behalf, Mom. Where's your purse?"

'I don't resent taking orders from a woman... for 20 years I took them from my mother.'

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

"I don't understand people who say children should be seen and not heard. Why would anyone want to hear them?"

Life's Rarest Things

"Me and my husband had to try sixteen times before I became pregnant... What a night that was!"

"Haven't been there, haven't done that."

"Hey Mom, love your new sweater! #mom #lovemymom #coolmom. . ."