Mother-son Humor Gifts

"Now pay attention when mother is speaking, Hubert!"

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'Dad, how come we never see and of them in flight?'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."

'We need a man with daring and drive. Do you think your son is this man?'

"Come on Mum, I'm fully grown-up, surely you can let my friend come between you and me safely..."

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

'Beats me why, but it's a sensitive subject: Some people will call you a Buffalo while others will call you a Bison...'

Good disciplinarian gaining respect vs. scary nutcase.

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

Valley girl mothers.

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

I have this overwhelming urge to have kids

"Got any cravings?"

"Sorry, I'm late but my mother couldn't make up her mind what I should wear here."

I thought I'd help your IBS by introducing you to more bacteria.

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

'The next time Mam says we're going to a fair, I'll ask her to be more specific.'

'Dad, this is Wane.'

"It took me a long time, daddy, but I think I've wiped that smirk off my face now!"

'This is a pretty stiff penalty for motherhood.'

'Oh, he's not mine. He's just renting.'

'Do you feel dominated by your mother?'

The world's #1 motivational speaker

'I'll just ring mother to see if I'm free to take you out on Saturday.'

'Mum! I hurt my hand!' - 'Oh, dear! Kiss it better.' - 'Mum! I hurt my head!' - 'Oh, dear! Kiss it better.' - 'Mum! I hurt my foot!' - 'I'll get you a paracetamol.'

'My biological clock finally went off.'

"Dad, is it okay if I call you by your first name?"