Mortgage Brokers Gifts

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

"There's a plus side to the credit crunch...My 'lenders elbow' has cleared up!"

Mortgages up 'Where?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

Why markets crash.

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Standard & Poor

Peter

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Reverse Mortgage.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

Canine Comedians