Mortarboard Mvp Gifts

The Giamatti era

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Running

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Dog with Anchor Lead

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'The 'most improved player of the year award' or the 'you don't suck as much as you did last year award' goes to...'

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

"Cool, Dad. When did you get a motor for the raft?"

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"Congratulations, dad! You won for 'Most Imaginative Maneuver' on a skateboard!"

'You may have too much anchor for this boat,'

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

'The good news is we've found life on Mars. The bad news is we ran over it.'

'Supervisor of the Year'

'When I hit the wall, I want to be ready.'

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

Pole Vault

'If I feel myself slipping backwards, I just throw out this anchor.'

'...If you really loved me, you'd transfer me to a preschool with a winning team.'

The Lecture.

'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'

Doesn't he seem really stiff?

Dance marathon.

The Artist 10k. Finish

'Sure, that's a boat, but there's no motor.'

Woman tells slob husband: 'Yes, you've got the Gold for watching the most Olympics coverage, now please get a shower.'