Morning Snackers Pillows

"Breakfast is ready!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

Full English Breakfast.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Cereal Tasting.

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

Bedside Manna.

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

Munch Master.

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

"Me, I've quit racing. I was very good at it, but I just couldn't hack the early training sessions..."

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

"Where's the Danish?"

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

'Good morning, breakfast.'

'You were up four times last night.'

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

Al, do you ever go back in time and try to pinpoint moments when you made bad life choices? Actually, after an episode of gastric distress this morning, I journeyed back in time to last night. I pinpointed midnight as the moment, and I pinpointed pizza as a bad life choice.

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.