Morning Routine Master Gifts

'It's my sinuses, Doctor - I wake up but I don't smell the coffee.'

Spray-on Odorant

"It's now 6:02am! Breakfast is two minutes late! We've been patient enough: let's wake them up!"

'Do I have to fetch the newspaper? -- Maureen Dowd always leaves a bad taste in my mouth!'

'Dear? I put a nice new blade in that old razor of yours, did you notice?'

"A look at the papers soon, but first the news where you are..."

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

'Everyone is getting up on time now that we've switched to vuvuzela for reveille.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

'I take a fast shower, dress quickly, eat an instant breakfast, and come to work on rapid transit, only to be put on hold!'

'Yeah...I don't have a job either. And like you, I am only continuing this routine to keep my wife quiet.'

"I’ve got to wake up early so I’m just going to wear my clothes for tomorrow to bed."

"That new freeway has high-def traffic cams."

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

"Until I get my first cup, I can't even talk straight."

"Give us a minute, honey."

"Maybe you shouldn't try to shave on the way to work."

'That was fun!'

Back to work...

Future garbage truck driver.

Bird Tweet.

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Fear of news.

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

Tired Barbie

"Great coffee, Carole."

Alarmistclock

Have you got your make up on yet?