Morning Ritual Master Gifts

"You should know better than to give a speech in the morning before you've had your coffee."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"Great coffee, Carole."

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

So Far So Good

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

David Attenborough's Morning

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

All we have in life is this moment...

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

OM, SWEET OM

'Are you sure about that? -- It sounds more like Ayn Rand than Buddha.'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

"Ever since I started Yoga, I don't freeze up as much."

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'