Morning Mentalists Gifts

'I hit my mental peak in homeroom.'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

David Attenborough's Morning

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

'I'm going to the library to study, so don't wait up.'

' 'cock-a-doodle-doo' out of whack!'

"It's 2 A.M. Do you know where your p***s is?"

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

"The magical time of night when the artist awakes, not with any idea, but with the murky recollection of an idea from the previous day that was not written down and is now lost forever."

"We prefer our idea people to present their ideas during office hours."

Bob begins every day with Tie Chi

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

"What truth can there be, if there is only death?" "Too early for Tolstoy."

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

Fatalism and the Seeds of Doubt

Wheel of Sleep Misfortune

"It looks as though it's going to be one of those days!"

'yes, up every day at dawn, but there was a shameful time as a teenager when I used to sleep in until noon sometimes...'

'Monday morning is the new Friday night.'

Thinking about work.

'Are you the same guy who's in the bathroom mirror?'

He got his best marketing ideas late at night.

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

The best cure for a laughing jag is Monday morning.

Long tattoo on arm of man drinking coffee reads, "Born to go binge-drinking, get pierced and tattooed, then wake up the next day really annoyed at myself for being such an idiot!"

Listen, Mom - someone in there must be ticklish!

Post-Hypnotic Suggestion

"Well, actually, the early birds get the early-rising, older worms! Personally, I prefer the juicier teenage worms who don't usually rise until mid to late morning..."