Morning After Detective T-Shirts

"He'd been drunk,he'd been walking past the zoo...there had been something else, but damn he couldn't remember."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

Violence on TV.

Og falls asleep at the wheel for the final time.

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

'Fingerprints on your laptop screen?... wow, that's a real mystery.'

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

Worst part of diagnosis...'I have some very bad news for you.'

Closing Laugh Mystery Publications

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

'Curious Man Discovers Magnifying Glass With His Magnifying Glass.

'The victim has defense wounds. When the art challenged her, she clearly put up a fight.'

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

Dave could never work out how he lost his nose stud.

'?'He was definitely here earlier. Looks like he gave us the slip.'

"I guess the term 'thin air' no longer applies."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"

Spiro & Pusho on the minefield

Hunting the lion

"Listen ... can you hear that? That’s the sound of four months of winter depression."