Side Effect Detective T-Shirts

'I hate it when they wince as I explain the side effects.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Science and Coronavirus

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Micro and Macro Department,

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

Devil in the detail

'Well, Dear, the doctor did say there could be side effects to those pills!'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"We need to talk about procrastination."

'This could end up costing a lot more than I thought -- your disease is psychocomatic!'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."