Morbid Humor Gifts

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Out To Lurch

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

The practical psychopath

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

End the Winter Blues

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Housekeeping?!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Zombies.

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Optimist

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Look, I'm dying. Gotta go."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"