Morbid Curiosity Gifts

"I just don't think it's healthy for you to read the obituaries each day to see if you're listed!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

'Can I get a box for this?'

Death Watch

"You have twenty eight days to live."

"Mrs. Walsh? Oh, good ... you’re still alive."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

"Your morbid curiosity about the afterlife is scaring the children."

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

The Government's New Conspiracy Census.

Death model.

"Spoiler alert! You won't be needing those warm clothes."

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Pretty good turnout for a Monday."

"No wonder we could get tickets."

"Boy I like the sound of requiem music..."

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

Mark Casey 1966 - 1998: Thirty-seventh idiot to have the crap stomped out of him in Pamplona.

With smoking banned, what left for me to look forward to? Just drinking myself to death?

"Mom, Dad – this is Gloria."

'Oh-oh, rigor mortis... that ain't good.'

'Barlow must be the dessert.'

Undertaker's Staff Party (drinks are on the hearse).

Demon at a lift in Hell.

The Four Stages of Cruelty - Reward of cruelty.

'Well, the good news is, our signal fire seems to have worked...'

'The old folks' home, and make it snappy.'

Christian scientist with a appendicitis ahead (Please do not laugh.)

"I dunno... there's just a stench of death about the place."