Morbid Curiosity Club Gifts

Screams may be recorded for training purposes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"You two seem oddly suited."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

'Can I get a box for this?'

Death Watch

'Those are interesting questions Timmy. I suggest you ask your search engine.'

"Mrs. Walsh? Oh, good ... you’re still alive."

"Your morbid curiosity about the afterlife is scaring the children."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

Death model.

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Spoiler alert! You won't be needing those warm clothes."

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

"No wonder we could get tickets."

"Pretty good turnout for a Monday."

Deja Voodoo.

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

"Boy I like the sound of requiem music..."

'Oh-oh, rigor mortis... that ain't good.'

'Barlow must be the dessert.'

Sunday afternoon in the library. The awkward science which comes from not having had a weekend murder to accuse anyone of committing.

With smoking banned, what left for me to look forward to? Just drinking myself to death?

Undertaker's Staff Party (drinks are on the hearse).

"Mom, Dad – this is Gloria."

Mark Casey 1966 - 1998: Thirty-seventh idiot to have the crap stomped out of him in Pamplona.

'Well, the good news is, our signal fire seems to have worked...'

'The old folks' home, and make it snappy.'

Christian scientist with a appendicitis ahead (Please do not laugh.)